A Letter From My Heart “Not Again”

   Not again, you can’t possibly do this to us again we have learned our lesson it has to end.
   I have so many scars I don’t even look like me anymore, how could you risk me like this, how could you put me in danger it’s just a girl she is practically a stranger.
   I don’t see how you can act this way, after all we have been through after all the tears, you still think I have the capacity for love… after all of these years?
   I thought we had reached an understanding, I thought you shut me off, I was resting and now suddenly I’m beating once more, and what is it all for how can she be worth it… I’m just far too sore.
   I am trying so hard but you just keep pushing, I keep telling you too give up before it is too late, but still you try and you tell me that It’s fate.
   How can you be such a fool, I am so broken, if this goes wrong there is no way that I will survive, please just stop and think about my life.
   So, she might be your muse, it has happened before, you act like it means something just because she brings us joy does not mean she won’t break us at our very core!
   You are so lost in her eyes you can’t even think straight, she could kill us, how is that for fate?
   I just don’t get why I had to belong to you, you love too easily, and you’ve broken me all the way through.
   I hope you will just listen because I’m saying this as a friend, I want us to live, we do not have anything left to give.
   I don’t think you can hear me right now, mainly because she just smiled again, I know because I’m beating faster, and yes it feels good but at what price… I… I am caught in a vise.
   I can’t deny that I want to love again, I feel a spark when you look at her, but still this fire could die and then what, will you just leave me to fry?
   I know you want this and partly I do too but just listen to me, you can’t do this… it will probably all be in vain, just please I’m begging you now, not again…

We, The Beloved Tools

 Even the sparrows, are not forgotten… and some how I am worth more how can God love me, it must be such a chore.

   God is our master, and we are His tools we must stay maintained so His work can be done yet we let ourselves rust, for some simple fun.

   O God my soul does cry where is my value how is it so high?

   Then i realize that this body and soul do not belong to me, I belong to the Lord and in that I am set free.

   I need not worry, I need only keep faith God’s good works in me will always keep me safe.

   I am alive and I am well, I shout because my soul is on fire, my cup overflows because of a God who is higher.

   My God guides my pen, He surely guides each stroke, I could never write so beautifully if it wasn’t for what He invokes.

    My God is so good, I can never say that enough He is so awesome, I’m in awe, at a loss for words.

    Not having, the words, one would think that I would stop but, surely I will not.

   My words will come from God now instead of being my own, so take heart that they will preach the Gospel and help others to atone.

   My words are better than they’ve been in the past for they are not my own, that is why they will last.

   O what joy I find in the work of my Lord, what I pray for He gives better than what I asked, and in me…me His love is stored.

   O what a tool I can be if I examine and sharpen myself, I ask God for more opportunities to share what’s in that great book opon my shelf.

   O what a joy I have found in this Savior I know, that others would know Him is my hearts truest hope.

   I was made in that secret place to be better than what I am so, I improve each day seeking to be a better man.

   I pray with persistence that my God can be seen by all who need him, seven billion is a big number to feed.

   I come to God with loaf and fish He Multiplies and sends me to serve all in the world this very blessed dish.

   My God still saves, and performs miracles daily, we often don’t see them becsuse we refuse to look faithfully.

   This world is in need and we are the tools of the great carpenter so, lets build together with carefully placed words, like a philosopher.

   I seek today and tomorrow to do Gods work for whomever I meet is worth more than many sparrows so, I try to fly straight, straight like an arrow.

   I claim today to be Gods day to move, I intend to follow Him who loves me so deelpy, won’t you too?

Today

Today my car is broken down, its completley un-drivable. Today I want to be stressed out, I want to worry about the money, the future, and what ill have to do tomorrow. Today I am trying to figure out Gods plan for me and trying to think that I may have screwed it up. Today I was down in the dumps. Today I was afraid. Today I was anxious. Today I felt like I would be consumed by negativity, but today God has my life in His hands. Today I’m living a life in which I have been completley delivered from my depression, today I am free from the very grips of death, today I am free from the mind that wanted me dead, today I am free, today I am alive, today I shout this battle cry at the top of my lungs. I have no worries I cast it all on Him, my Lord on high. Yahweh, my own personal savior is waking with me today. So in conclusion today, it is well with my soul.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7 NIV

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34 NIV

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ?
Matthew 6:27 NIV