I tread water, yet I have no control, I am washed in these waves that battle for my soul.
My situation is tenuous, perhaps even dire, I gasp for air, but I am growing tired.
Been in these waters for far too long, got used to going under, thinking maybe it made me strong.
But I have been weak, I became what I am not, lost myself in the waters forgetting why I ever fought.
So it is not enough now to simply come up for air, I can tread no longer for the waves have weight I must not bear.
I take a deep breath, I steel my nerves, I set my sights towards land and choose whom I will serve.
I reach solid ground, yet the waters still lap at my skin, I know it’s not enough, so I move further in.
In and away, away from the waves, and now looking back, they seem so much more like a grave.
I lived in death pretending it could sustain; now I grasp at life as I shed my pain.
Tears flow down as reality hits, I see solid rock, and this is where I sit.
I can still see the waves, so I look to the sky; it begins to rain, and once again, I am no longer dry.
Yet this rain is different than the waves that would be my tomb, I feel peace and warmth, I am completely consumed.
This time though, instead of grasping for survival; I sit on this rock ready for revival.
I am revived fully, washed in this rain, the waves no longer in sight, the fog clears my brain.
On a solid foundation, I see clearly; I have all that I need, and it is on this rock I am finally freed.
Freedom, a final thought for this piece, I am free, and yet I still release.
I release my desperate desire for control, I give it up freely, I give God my soul.
Yes, all along God was the rock, the waves my flesh, and so I take stock.
I take inventory now of the things I have learned, I let go of idols and allow a clean heart to yearn.
I yearn now for the One it always should have been, the Lord my God has freed me from my sin.
yahweh
Loss is Gain
A geyser of gratitude overflows from my soul, it is well because I’ve given God control.
A change in my life that is out of my hands, and yet I am at peace, and I still stand.
I praise God for these moments, I praise Him for this growth, He’s not done with me, and so I make another oath.
I swear to my Lord that I will use these emotions. They well up inside and crash like the ocean.
These waves crash on a door that has now been broken down, let the sea empty out, and all anxiety drown.
I find peace in an ending, maybe because it’s one I expected, even if it’s not one I necessarily elected.
I put in effort, and I feel thankful for what I received, I learned about another soul, and I could ask for no more relief.
There was beauty in the brevity of these beautiful days, and so I let God guide the beauty into words that will stay.
People come and go, but their impact remains, I rest in this peace knowing what I’ve gained.
Affixed Vision
Don’t need somebody to save me because I have already been saved, in looking inwards I’ve escaped the grave.
I am known by God and have the will to do what I must, I keep moving forward, my faith based in trust.
I trust that these times I face are only for this moment, I am strengthened by the pressing, strengthened by my atonement.
I atone for my past, for the times I was bitter, for the times I turned my back, for the times I’ve been a sinner.
For by God’s love I was born in sin, but by that love I am born again and again.
I have been made new for the thousandth time, there are no demons in my way that my God and I cannot slay.
I find power in myself that comes from Him, these years of pain were worth it for He is and has always been.
I am already saved, and still am saved more with each day, my God has proven good, so in His presence I will stay.
My Eyes in the Storm
Now the floodgates are open, I’ve been made anew, I write once again, I’ve finally made it through.
The walls are broken down, my emotions crash in waves, I feel every ounce of the water as it covers my old self’s grave.
For I have died and been reborn, a Phoenix rising in the middle of a storm.
The rain is torrential, the downpour is heavy the wind and the rain come, but I stand steady.
I find myself standing firm atop these waves, my feet held up by the name Yahweh
Solid ground in the middle of an ocean, I am making progress now and have to believe that I have been chosen.
Chosen for something great, too spread a great name, chosen for this and so my pen takes my pain.
The pain is transformed into passion and power, I know now who I serve and so this is my hour.
A moment of fate, a moment of grace, I stand in this chaos and look only upon His face.
Tales of Dylan 