Often times i really don’t know what i want to write, i just start writing and see where it goes. My words that go on these pages are a direct representation of the struggles within my soul, when i write i’m letting out emotions that are just a flicker in the night but when i write it all down suddenly its a roaring flame that i can finally understand. I don’t write for money, joy, fame, i write because i need to, i write because at the end of the day i don’t even understand whats going on in the cluster of my mind. When i write i make sense to myself what i did not comprehend before, my goal by sharing these thoughts, these poems is that it will help someone else who is lost to make sense of their-self as well. Our minds and souls can be confusing things but words when put in proper sequence guided by awesome inspiration will make sense of even the messiest of minds.
writing
I Close My Eyes
Sadness and Joy
Depression is a very strange emotion, it is a sadness that consumes you second by second eating away at your soul and mind. The strangest thing however is not the dark emotions that you feel but instead the joyous ones. Depression gives out a sense of security and warmth, depression wraps you up in it’s arms inviting you back like an old friend. The familiarity of sadness is a comfort i wish dearly to rid myself of… for now though I am alive. My solace is found in my writing so i will write.
5:30 Am
I lie here awake at 5:30 in the morning, not because I’m up early to be a productive member of society but because i haven’t yet slept. I was tired at 10 pm, completely prepared to go to sleep but my insomnia or perhaps just sheer stupidity kept me up. Rather than sleeping throughout my nights I often binge watch a new show and play outdated apps on my phone that I don’t even think i have fun with. I suppose I’ll do anything to numb my mind, to forget the things in the world around me that would cause me to despair. A little overly dramatic right? Truthfully though this is partially how i feel my body fights against my mind for a war of whether i should sleep or not. Its usually not until iv’e plagued my brain with far too many hours of useless activity and it then becomes tired along with my body. Now to get to the sleep part, I finally fall asleep but when I do I can sleep for 12 hours if I don’t force myself up because I’ve exhausted myself completely. Once i awake most of my day is gone so I briskly go through what part of my day i have left… then it starts all over.
Purpose For a Peach
Foolishness at fault, for the failures of mankind we are frivolously fighting and no one seems to mind.
The woman once known was to be wished for by all but all who saw could not see that which was in she.
She is light in a smile the moon to brighten the night, and each and every day I wait for the sun to sift it’s way down so that I may see it, the eyes so brown.
Though this sweat peach may lay burden behind my life I partake in its flavor knowing I have a savior.
Let Me
“S” Sounds
Is it strange to say that “s” is one of the strongest sounds, the way it severs in several way, or slices through what I say.
The “S” when someone speaks silently to your soul, the way it seeps easily through and takes control.
I sit as they tell me that I must stop, but I want to go, I want my own control; and so I tame the titillating sound of “S” I make it mine and I clean up this mess.
The final “S’s” are to be safe and sound,I have learned what I must and my own meaning has been found.
Wanderlust
Incomplete
I am incomplete, I can not move, I can not breathe, and for me there is no such thing as relief.
I am incomplete, because my soul can not be contempt, because my heart is torn in two, and because I feel nothing without you.
I am incomplete, I am alive yet in my eyes I look far more dead, if you look inside me there’s an empty cracked head.
I am incomplete, I’ve led myself to move but few understand how hard that was all that it took to tear me down was such a soft touch, you’d think that wouldn’t be enough.