write

My Own Psalm

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I will not be the man that i was, i claim today separation from the worlds cause.
   I serve a king greater than my struggles, one that doesn’t just lead an army, but also takes up the sword, He is my king, my Lord.

   He leads me beside still waters and lets the beauty of His world shine into my eyes,  i am free from my chains,  i break away from this earthly disguise.

   I am no longer willing to let the light of my soul hide Yahweh fills me up and has held me every time I’ve cried.

   I’ve even cried against my God Himself, I said He must be wrong, i yelled, and… i sobbed, but all the same He held me strong.

   Holy Holy Holy is my God who make me lie down in green pastures, my soul was in turmoil, but he soothed it so that death could not take it’s toll.

   My words can not be right unless they come from You, Yahweh my Lord I acknowledge all of Your word to be true.

   I am in a new world than the one of my past, i am now at peace with my God, and for eternity this peace will last.

The Scorpion and The Fish

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There was a river by a beach where a fish always swam; the fish swam to the shore  each day…looking for something more.

There was a scorpion very fierce as dangerous as he may be, he loved to walk all along that beach.

One day the shimmering fish swam slightly above the waters, the scorpion saw and from that point sought after her.

The acts of passion that this scorpion made could probably have attracted many but not her, not this day.

The fish saw the sea and her opportunities; there were many of her own kind and couldn’t think of him as more, that was just her state of mind.
This did not make the fish evil and In fact made her quite wise and even more so kind, she was beautiful to her core with her choices, such a beautiful mind.

The scorpion was not sad he simply kept searching the fish was his dream but he wasn’t the type to keep lurking.

This passion was one that never could have been, two different souls though one grasped at the other their only love was that of a sister to a brother.

The scorpion still prays that the fish will come back by but if she does not, he knows God will bring another He could never lose his joy it is far too great a wonder.

Wild Minds

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Often times i really don’t know what i want to write, i just start writing and see where it goes. My words that go on these pages are a direct representation of the struggles within my soul, when i write i’m letting out emotions that are just a flicker in the night but when i write it all down suddenly its a roaring flame that i can finally understand. I don’t write for money, joy, fame, i write because i need to, i write because at the end of the day i don’t even understand whats going on in the cluster of  my mind. When i write i make sense to myself what i did not comprehend before, my goal by sharing these thoughts, these poems is that it will help someone else who is lost to make sense of their-self as well. Our minds and souls can be confusing things but words when put in proper sequence guided by awesome inspiration will make sense of even the messiest of minds.

I Close My Eyes

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Oh what beauty is it that i can take a burnt down shack and see it as a home, that i could see a cloudy sky and still see the birds as they fly.

   I sit down, i close my eyes, and suddenly this dark world is a great bright light of joy, all that is dreary is nowhere near me…

   Oh what a marvelous sky i see, i dream in my dreams because things can never seem quite wonderful enough; my life is a fairway, Heaven is the green, and the darkness is nothing… but the rough.

   So now i make my stance and make my drive, not to see how far the ball will go, but that it will fly straight, and down the narrow.

   Oh woe to those who don’t see these things, for all around me is great joy, i say it again and again because its true, in the sky i see every single lovely shade of blue.

   How do those live that see only the dark, blind men have seen more by simply loving the Lord.

   I am amazed as i close my eyes once again, i shut out all that is to see for a moment only what should be; life is beauty that we take for granted once we have the right view we can always recognize the one that’s slanted.

   So i dare you to dream within dreams of the world that could be, we instill our ideals of beauty on this world but, Gods handiwork will spread as we tell all of this joy, all the marvelous things that come from one’s soul and not their head.

Sadness and Joy

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Depression is a very strange emotion, it is a sadness that consumes you second by second eating away at your soul and mind. The strangest thing however is not the dark emotions that you feel but instead the joyous ones. Depression gives out a sense of security and warmth, depression wraps you up in it’s arms inviting you back like an old friend. The familiarity of sadness  is a comfort i wish dearly to rid myself of… for now though I am alive. My solace is found in my writing so i will write.

5:30 Am

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I lie here awake at 5:30 in the morning, not because I’m up early to be a productive member of society but because i haven’t yet slept. I was tired at 10 pm, completely prepared to go to sleep but my insomnia or perhaps just sheer stupidity kept me up.  Rather than sleeping throughout my nights I often binge watch a new show and play outdated apps on my phone that I don’t even think i have fun with. I suppose I’ll do anything to numb my mind,  to forget the things in the world around me that would cause me to despair. A little overly dramatic right? Truthfully though this is partially how i feel my body fights against my mind for a war of whether i should sleep or not. Its usually not until iv’e plagued my brain with far too many hours of useless activity and it then becomes tired along with my body. Now to get to the sleep part, I finally fall asleep but when I do I can sleep for 12 hours if I don’t force myself up because I’ve exhausted myself completely. Once i awake most of my day is gone so I briskly go through what part of my day i have left… then it starts all over.

Wanderlust

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 Every time i walk in a room,  i believe she’ll be there,  my perfect woman built by God with great care.

   I’m looking around at every moment of every day believing ill find her, and that in my arms is where she’ll stay.

   The most crowded rooms I’ve seen have seemed empty after one glance, because she was not there, so that moment was not my chance.

   I search far and wide with a mouth that often refuses to speak, how will i know it’s her, will heavens light shine down on the one i seek?

   Id go to the ends of the earth to find this love, because i know it will fill me and surround me,  it will fit like a glove.

   So far i search but do not find, so I’m stuck, lost, and completely full of wanderlust; i fall at Gods feet, in His plan ill trust.

Incomplete

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I am incomplete, I can not move, I can not breathe, and for me there is no such thing as relief.

I am incomplete, because my soul can not be contempt, because my heart is torn in two, and because I feel nothing without you.

I am incomplete, I am alive yet in my eyes I look far more dead, if you look inside me there’s an empty cracked head.

I am incomplete, I’ve led myself to move but few understand how hard that was all that it took to tear me down was such a soft touch, you’d think that wouldn’t be enough.

I am incomplete, because I can barely even write even though my rhymes are at their height.
I am incomplete because this poem itself is incom… never mind I don’t have the words…