Depression is a very strange emotion, it is a sadness that consumes you second by second eating away at your soul and mind. The strangest thing however is not the dark emotions that you feel but instead the joyous ones. Depression gives out a sense of security and warmth, depression wraps you up in it’s arms inviting you back like an old friend. The familiarity of sadness is a comfort i wish dearly to rid myself of… for now though I am alive. My solace is found in my writing so i will write.
words
5:30 Am
I lie here awake at 5:30 in the morning, not because I’m up early to be a productive member of society but because i haven’t yet slept. I was tired at 10 pm, completely prepared to go to sleep but my insomnia or perhaps just sheer stupidity kept me up. Rather than sleeping throughout my nights I often binge watch a new show and play outdated apps on my phone that I don’t even think i have fun with. I suppose I’ll do anything to numb my mind, to forget the things in the world around me that would cause me to despair. A little overly dramatic right? Truthfully though this is partially how i feel my body fights against my mind for a war of whether i should sleep or not. Its usually not until iv’e plagued my brain with far too many hours of useless activity and it then becomes tired along with my body. Now to get to the sleep part, I finally fall asleep but when I do I can sleep for 12 hours if I don’t force myself up because I’ve exhausted myself completely. Once i awake most of my day is gone so I briskly go through what part of my day i have left… then it starts all over.
Let Me
Let me speak words to you that will strike at your very core; let me write words to you that leave you wanting more.
Let me make you to understand the passion that flows through these veins, I wish for the words to touch your heart, not simply your brains.
Let me display the Glory that is my God, the way He works through a pen, it’s almost odd.
You see my passion is fueled by a Lord that never gives up on me, He sends me across the waters, calmly through a stormy sea.
I ask you to let me before I truly speak, but I intend to let my words be known no matter what others seek.
My words must flow out of me like water from a spring, if they don’t then I am lost with no more song to sing.
Now, while the world is tempting me to ask it if I may, I realize now the Lord is my answer to avoid all dismay.
So I say to my God let me speak, and let it be your voice, He answers me beautifully saying, ” my child, you’ve made the right choice”.
Now in my life instead of wondering if I should, I know for all my days that my answers will come from a God that is good.
So I ask of you to let me speak, but I shall speak either way… for death is just one price I’m not willing to let a friend pay.
“S” Sounds
Is it strange to say that “s” is one of the strongest sounds, the way it severs in several way, or slices through what I say.
The “S” when someone speaks silently to your soul, the way it seeps easily through and takes control.
I sit as they tell me that I must stop, but I want to go, I want my own control; and so I tame the titillating sound of “S” I make it mine and I clean up this mess.
“S”? “S” is dead but I bring it to life this belongs to Me and through this powerful letter I will illiterate on meanings of living, and now I will use it to be giving.
The final “S’s” are to be safe and sound,I have learned what I must and my own meaning has been found.
