words

I Am In A river

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 I am in a river, flowing steady and strong, it twists and turns for what feels to be far too long.

   Feels like i’m in the deep, struggling to swim above the water, all around me are people on land, none care for me as i reach out desperately with my hand.

   I’ve been in this river for quite some time but still may have a while to go, i cant see the end quite yet but the water’s at least a bit more shallow.

   I haven’t lived in this river my whole life, in fact I’ve been on land many times, most times i was thrown back in the water, but sometimes i just jumped in, i must keep faith there is an end.

   The problem i have with the river is impatience at the core, when i see a way out i jump for it, but i should know by now ill always end up wanting more.

   Its hard to tell where the river ends so we often make mistakes, we leave the river for solid ground but it simply crumbles beneath our feet.

   The river has widened due to my follies so I just keep floating trying to keep faith that God has made my river well and that the end of the river holds a beautiful shell.

   I jumped from the river for shells in the past, but none of them were right, none of them could last.

   I look back on the shells i held and the solid ground on which i stood, i think of the result and I’m in a different mood.

   The river is not so bad, in fact it keeps us from harm, i must hold out until i reach the end, there i will see my perfect shell’s charm.

   I am in a river, flowing steady and strong, it twists and turns for what I’m sure couldn’t be too terribly long.

My Own Psalm

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I will not be the man that i was, i claim today separation from the worlds cause.
   I serve a king greater than my struggles, one that doesn’t just lead an army, but also takes up the sword, He is my king, my Lord.

   He leads me beside still waters and lets the beauty of His world shine into my eyes,  i am free from my chains,  i break away from this earthly disguise.

   I am no longer willing to let the light of my soul hide Yahweh fills me up and has held me every time I’ve cried.

   I’ve even cried against my God Himself, I said He must be wrong, i yelled, and… i sobbed, but all the same He held me strong.

   Holy Holy Holy is my God who make me lie down in green pastures, my soul was in turmoil, but he soothed it so that death could not take it’s toll.

   My words can not be right unless they come from You, Yahweh my Lord I acknowledge all of Your word to be true.

   I am in a new world than the one of my past, i am now at peace with my God, and for eternity this peace will last.

Shy From His Shack

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You’re breaking my being into a shambled shack of lost dreams outside it’s window you can see the stream.

This stream you see has been made up of tears, they are from the eyes of a man who would chase you for many years.

This man lives deep in the forest where he hopes and prays, all he wants is for you to come to him… One day.

But one day is a day that shall never come because you have better options and out of those he can’t even beat some.

He is a man who knows when he has been beaten, but like the nature around him he can’t ignore the beautiful brown in the bright souled eyes everything in him when he sees her smile… well it simply dies.

But then he Is brought back to life, his heart gets a jolt from his love for her soul.

This has made all the difference, the way she kills him yet adds meaning to his breaths that’s why he lives secluded in a forest, secluded until his death.

The Scorpion and The Fish

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There was a river by a beach where a fish always swam; the fish swam to the shore  each day…looking for something more.

There was a scorpion very fierce as dangerous as he may be, he loved to walk all along that beach.

One day the shimmering fish swam slightly above the waters, the scorpion saw and from that point sought after her.

The acts of passion that this scorpion made could probably have attracted many but not her, not this day.

The fish saw the sea and her opportunities; there were many of her own kind and couldn’t think of him as more, that was just her state of mind.
This did not make the fish evil and In fact made her quite wise and even more so kind, she was beautiful to her core with her choices, such a beautiful mind.

The scorpion was not sad he simply kept searching the fish was his dream but he wasn’t the type to keep lurking.

This passion was one that never could have been, two different souls though one grasped at the other their only love was that of a sister to a brother.

The scorpion still prays that the fish will come back by but if she does not, he knows God will bring another He could never lose his joy it is far too great a wonder.

Wild Minds

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Often times i really don’t know what i want to write, i just start writing and see where it goes. My words that go on these pages are a direct representation of the struggles within my soul, when i write i’m letting out emotions that are just a flicker in the night but when i write it all down suddenly its a roaring flame that i can finally understand. I don’t write for money, joy, fame, i write because i need to, i write because at the end of the day i don’t even understand whats going on in the cluster of  my mind. When i write i make sense to myself what i did not comprehend before, my goal by sharing these thoughts, these poems is that it will help someone else who is lost to make sense of their-self as well. Our minds and souls can be confusing things but words when put in proper sequence guided by awesome inspiration will make sense of even the messiest of minds.

I Close My Eyes

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Oh what beauty is it that i can take a burnt down shack and see it as a home, that i could see a cloudy sky and still see the birds as they fly.

   I sit down, i close my eyes, and suddenly this dark world is a great bright light of joy, all that is dreary is nowhere near me…

   Oh what a marvelous sky i see, i dream in my dreams because things can never seem quite wonderful enough; my life is a fairway, Heaven is the green, and the darkness is nothing… but the rough.

   So now i make my stance and make my drive, not to see how far the ball will go, but that it will fly straight, and down the narrow.

   Oh woe to those who don’t see these things, for all around me is great joy, i say it again and again because its true, in the sky i see every single lovely shade of blue.

   How do those live that see only the dark, blind men have seen more by simply loving the Lord.

   I am amazed as i close my eyes once again, i shut out all that is to see for a moment only what should be; life is beauty that we take for granted once we have the right view we can always recognize the one that’s slanted.

   So i dare you to dream within dreams of the world that could be, we instill our ideals of beauty on this world but, Gods handiwork will spread as we tell all of this joy, all the marvelous things that come from one’s soul and not their head.

Sadness and Joy

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Depression is a very strange emotion, it is a sadness that consumes you second by second eating away at your soul and mind. The strangest thing however is not the dark emotions that you feel but instead the joyous ones. Depression gives out a sense of security and warmth, depression wraps you up in it’s arms inviting you back like an old friend. The familiarity of sadness  is a comfort i wish dearly to rid myself of… for now though I am alive. My solace is found in my writing so i will write.

5:30 Am

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I lie here awake at 5:30 in the morning, not because I’m up early to be a productive member of society but because i haven’t yet slept. I was tired at 10 pm, completely prepared to go to sleep but my insomnia or perhaps just sheer stupidity kept me up.  Rather than sleeping throughout my nights I often binge watch a new show and play outdated apps on my phone that I don’t even think i have fun with. I suppose I’ll do anything to numb my mind,  to forget the things in the world around me that would cause me to despair. A little overly dramatic right? Truthfully though this is partially how i feel my body fights against my mind for a war of whether i should sleep or not. Its usually not until iv’e plagued my brain with far too many hours of useless activity and it then becomes tired along with my body. Now to get to the sleep part, I finally fall asleep but when I do I can sleep for 12 hours if I don’t force myself up because I’ve exhausted myself completely. Once i awake most of my day is gone so I briskly go through what part of my day i have left… then it starts all over.

Let Me

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Let me speak words to you that will strike at your very core; let me write words to you that leave you wanting more.

  Let me make you to understand the passion that flows through these veins, I wish for the words to touch your heart, not simply your brains.

  Let me display the Glory that is my God, the way He works through a pen, it’s almost odd.

  You see my passion is fueled by a Lord that never gives up on me, He sends me across the waters, calmly through a stormy sea.

  I ask you to let me before I truly speak, but I intend to let my words be known no matter what others seek.

  My words must flow out of me like water from a spring, if they don’t then I am lost with no more song to sing.

  Now, while the world is tempting me to ask it if I may, I realize now the Lord is my answer to avoid all dismay.

  So I say to my God let me speak, and let it be your voice, He answers me beautifully saying, ” my child, you’ve made the right choice”.

  Now in my life instead of wondering if I should, I know for all my days that my answers will come from a God that is good.

  So I ask of you to let me speak, but I shall speak either way… for death is just one price I’m not willing to let a friend pay.

“S” Sounds

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Is it strange to say that “s” is one of the strongest sounds, the way it severs in several way, or slices through what I say.

The “S” when someone speaks silently to your soul, the way it seeps easily through and takes control.

I sit as they tell me that I must stop, but I want to go, I want my own control; and so I tame the titillating sound of “S” I make it mine and I clean up this mess.

“S”? “S” is dead but I bring it to life this belongs to Me and through this powerful letter I will illiterate on meanings of living, and now I will use it to be giving.

The final “S’s” are to be safe and sound,I have learned what I must and my own meaning has been found.