How can I be comfortable carrying the weight of this heart of mine, how do I carry it each day, how do I face time.
Time adds weight because my heart only grows, so much to give with nowhere for it to go.
Yet there are places for my heart to give, people to reach, a new way to live.
To fulfill myself is to live my life through love, I will give myself with every life I touch.
Myself is enough so I give it freely, self sacrifice is my gift so I’ll give it daily.
Love is beautiful because of everywhere it can apply, it does not require romance and it fights through all lies.
The lies of this world are easy to breach if you’re comfortable with a heavy heart, and you’re willing to seek.
A heavy heart is not a curse, for its weight has meaning, and through that weight you find your being.
My heart tells its story, the story of its weight, it is heavy, but it is strong, that is its fate.
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To See The Sound Of A Soul
Return to me now, oh my dear sweet light, let my soul be set ablaze again, return to me my sight.
I see once more, like I never have before, the whole world has opened up, and I am excited to see what’s in store.
I have found this light, that I once had lost, now that it has returned I’m trying desperately to find the right words, but alas, I am at a loss.
The multitude of emotions I feel welling inside of me like a spring or a geyser ready to burst, I don’t feel like I can capture it, so my soul it thirsts.
My soul thirsts for true expression, to let every cry of my heart run rampant upon this page, I am an performer, and these letters are my stage.
So I will watch each movement carefully articulating each line, for I want to get my point across because I know it must be something divine.
I am completely lost, but somehow I feel that I am finally found, I do not know what to write so I close my eyes and listen for a sound.
The sound I’m looking for? Its the sound of inspiration, the sound of first love, the sound of faith, the sound of sorrow, the sound of elation.
All these sounds how can I hear them all, the colors they paint on this page, each are different then the last, but still I can feel each one as though they still hold fast.
My heart seems equivalent to the waves, I’m sure I can hear it crashing against the shore, it moves unpredictably, but still I want to hear more.
Any moment I feel that I could drown in my own sorrows, but when I rise above the waves… I see the sunrise on the water and I know that I need to stay.
This passion I feel, I will express it soon enough, but for now this will have to do, though it may sound rough.
I have found my light and I hear my sound, and though I may get lost in the waves, I will stand my ground.
Eyes That Ignite
Give flight to my soul, this beauty that I have known.
You’re lost to me I know for you are far in my past, still your eyes call to me igniting a fire that lasts.
You’re more than I could deserve so I dare not even attempt, you’re everything I could desire, my heart is spent.
This angel’s grace that I see surround you astounds me in it’s depths, the words you speak, the song you sing, it is such a sweet sound to seek.
Such beauty in a woman with deep spiritual strength, I long for such a person to hold but still It cannot be so.
Ill admire you from a far for I know to have you is not my place, so I’ll be thankful just to have known you, just to have seen your face.
Drained of Color
Lately I’ve found myself in a rut that I’m unsure how to get out of. I’ve been getting caught up with all the trivialities of life. I have been focusing on anything and everything but my writing. I find it hard right now to find inspiration, everything just seems so bland. My soul cries out tonight for a change of pace. I hope to see the colors of this grey sky change soon.
My Life Is in Ink
“I don’t live to write, I write because I could not go on living if I did not let the cries of my soul escape onto these pages.
The Light Through The Rain
The rain falls today upon my empty heart, it wells up with water bursting at the seams, I wonder if this pain is real… or has it all just been a dream?
I’m lost in this world that I’m told is reality, where am I to go next to escape this triviality?
I don’t know where I am nor where I’m going, I’ve no idea who I even am but still I see a light that is glowing.
This light… the hope of love in a world so full of loss, I see it in the distance, I face the final boss.
I fight myself…my own mind, this time I shall win, this time my own light will shine.
Loves New Song
O God, I cry out to thee give me love. My Father fill the holes deep inside of me. I cry to you in anguish and pain. Heal my broken heart o Lord. I am lost and I feel like I’m sitting still. Every way I turn I see no way out. My soul withers o God. I cry tears of pure brokenness. I know your plan is good and I need to focus on you, but my heart screams for purpose. I am in agony my Lord for the overwhelming loneliness that surrounds me like a dark cloud. I forsake you my God, I have turned against you to sin time and time again. I do not deserve this grace I’ve been given but I am given it still. When I was still sinning Christ died for me. I have been given a love so beautiful, pure, and unmatched that my earthly mind cannot even fathom what it truly means. Yahweh you have saved me more times than I can count and now my father I ask again please save me from my own bleeding heart. Fill me with your joy, wisdom, love, and strength that I might know what it feels like to be whole. I know full well my God that you are all I need, but my heart has desires that I pray for you to fulfill. Do not forsake me now o God your faithful one chases after your heart. Let me be like David and pray this to you now, save me o save me from my own broken self.
Joy
Joy, I feel it course through me as the Holy Spirit wages war for my happiness… for my very soul. Joy is not what most people understand it to be. Joy is the last soldier on a battlefield standing against an army with no chance of survival except by the hand of God. Joy is the hope of God, the comfort that our Savior will hold us steady no matter what storm we face. Every day I face the same battles waged in my mind. I often feel like I can’t break free from my own despair. The beautiful thing about joy that most do not understand is that it is separate from happiness. Joy stays with us even when the tears flow and depression is ripping into our very souls. Joy is trusting in God, in His almighty power. Joy is everything to me, because without it I’d already be dead.
Joy is the hand that holds on as the rest of your being reaches for the release of death. Joy is what has given me a chance and allowed me to continue to fight. I have such a passion for joy because even now I am deeply saddened by state this world is in. Still, I have a hope and I trust that God will restore light to this broken world. Sometimes I don’t feel like I want to be but I am supposed to be that light. I often cannot help but flicker and sometimes in doing so I hurt others with my flame. It’s difficult and I’ts shameful when you realize you’ve hurt someone else. The reason I need God and joy is so that I can live to see another day and know that God will continue to use me despite my mistakes. I am nothing without God and so He fills me with joy. Though the battles I face are tough and I often grow too tired to face them anymore, I am lucky to have a God who restores me and stands by my side.I may lose myself but God will never forget who I am. My God keeps me and restores me all by the hand of joy.
Even There
There is no distance you can go that God will not follow, no place you can be that He will not be as well. Every mistake we make every unforgivable screw up we commit God forgives us still and He works those things for good. God pursues us and loves us endlessly. While we were STILL sinners Christ died for us. There is no place that my God can not reach. His glorious name is enough to calm my every storm. Even in my darkest places, when death had its grip around my neck God was there and He fought for my life. God’s plan for me is beyond my own merit I am nothing and that is exactly why my God uses me. No matter where I find myself even there my God will be.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:7-12 NIV
A Girl and Her Storm
Her smile shined in a darkness that she herself had borne, she walked it around like a dark cloud before a heavy storm.
The storm came with her tears when that lovely smile was no more, but after storms come rainbows and brighter skies; the rainbow was in her eyes.
Her eyes changed like the seasons, her emotions deciding the fate of their colors, you could see her soul in those eyes, an ever changing beauty like no other.
She is still learning to tame this storm, but the more she learns the fiercer she becomes, a force to be reckoned with… her gaze would leave any man stunned.
I can’t say all that she is for I’m still learning moment by moment each one I find better than the last, I don’t even seem to mind it going nowhere fast.
Such a light within such darkness I am glad just to have as a friend, I will value her deeply until the very end.
I believe this girl will become a storm herself, growing mightier than the ones she has faced, she will fight fire with fire as she learns the Lords embrace.
She is destined for many great things, of that I am certainly sure, the beautiful thing to realize is that her growth will have come from this storm.
Tales of Dylan 