The Days Are Made of Mountains

Today feels like a haze and I don’t know why, I’m pushing, I’m fighting, and I won’t cease to try.

Yet today I feel slow, today I feel like I’m letting go.

My goals are meaningful but today I’m losing hope, I’ve been coming out of the valley, but it is such a steep slope.

I climb and I climb, but my hands are slipping, my feet lose their hold and so I’m gripping.

Grabbing hold for dear life, that fact that life is more dear should certainly suffice.

For there once was a time that life didn’t have worth, I couldn’t see the why, I couldn’t see the possibility for rebirth.

And yet here I stand atop a ledge reaching for that one hand.

The hand of He who has always been by my side, carried me when I fell, comforted me when I cried.

My tears they had purpose, so did my sweat and blood; I fight this fight no matter how deep I sink into the mud.

I am here, I am alive, and so I blow away the haze; I strive for good reason,  I will reach better days.

My Eyes in the Storm

Now the floodgates are open, I’ve been made anew, I write once again, I’ve finally made it through.

The walls are broken down, my emotions crash in waves, I feel every ounce of the water as it covers my old self’s grave.

For I have died and been reborn, a Phoenix rising in the middle of a storm.

The rain is torrential, the downpour is heavy the wind and the rain come, but I stand steady.

I find myself standing firm atop these waves, my feet held up by the name Yahweh

Solid ground in the middle of an ocean, I am making progress now and have to believe that I have been chosen.

Chosen for something great, too spread a great name, chosen for this and so my pen takes my pain.

The pain is transformed into passion and power, I know now who I serve and so this is my hour.

A moment of fate, a moment of grace,  I stand in this chaos and look only upon His face.

She Smiles With The Seasons

A breeze in the summer, under the shade of a tree…she is beauty, she is peace,

A calm that transcends panic, she is vibrant and electric.

A current that flows through every single bone, she is the tranquility that comes with a seldom seen snow.

She is new life and warmth, like the beginning of spring; she is bright and beautiful like the sun without its sting.

As said before, she is like the autumn leaves, many vibrant colors… magnificent and unique.

She is all of the seasons, and you can see them in her smile, a bouquet of every flower, unchanging yet versatile.

Let it Go With The Rain

Sorrow and set back… today my words may not succeed, but I guess we can only find out as I create more words for you to read.

Words don’t feel enough to fix the things I feel, I step out of myself, I am no longer real.

Lost to the void that consumes all reasoning, my lungs devoid of air no ability to speak or sing.

And so I write as there is no other way for my words to arise, I sharpen them as a sword cutting down the lies.

The lies that are spoken are all within my own head, I create a path for myself, it is here that I tread.

Though I do not tread lightly, I let each step be heard, louder and louder until it’s a drum beat that sounds of a herd.

My heart it beats with the sound of many hooves, I am here, I am alive, my words have done all they could.

And so I take control, I grip onto my own pain, I feel peace and truth take over washing me clean in the rain.

Peace Rebirth

I feel peace once again, as I begin to know who I am, I know where I’m going, and where I must stand.

I stand on a hilltop overlooking my life, I see possibility, a chance to try, a chance to thrive.

The possibility of peace as a continued pursuit, I feel it now my heart is let loose.

I’ve broken free of a terrible cage, freed once again by a gracious God, who was willing to take on my rage.

Through bitterness and anger, still I am set free, I sing of God’s goodness as it washes over me.

I return to Him now, I feel my faith grow, the power of His word, and is blessing bestowed.

This relationship I mend, so of course now I can write, I was lost without guidance, but now I can fight.

I fight for peace and joy to take over my life, the spirit covers me, I’ve opened my eyes.

This is the peace that I’ve sought for so long,  what a joyous word, I didn’t know I could feel so strong.

Rest returns to me, motivation crashes in waves, my cup overflows, and so I step out from my cave.

My enemy and I…out in the open, yet I cannot be harmed for my God is risen.

Risen from death, as now so am I, my spirit is reborn in a peace that none could deny.

The Faults in Failing

I wish I could grab ahold of the light that I just let die, the wind and weather blew the flame but I just watched it go by….

The light, it was there but now I am nothing, and so are you, a life snuffed out wishing for the beauty of rain when I’m caught in a drought.

I try to channel my pain but I feel like my pain is channeling me I’m not in control and the tears cloud my ability to see.

I don’t remember how to look at life it’s cold, dark, and miserable, filled with endless strife.

The sun and the stars they all seem so dim I am nothing and so are you I feel somehow like my words could have been spoken more true.

Had I been a better man who understood who i was, perhaps I could have helped you instead of feeling the death of love.

Because I did not share enough? I couldn’t save you here… but still I wanted to save you but it’s like I’m constantly driving with no idea how to steer.

The impacts I’ve had… do any of them have meaning, if I couldn’t save you then whats my point of being.

I’m useless I’m nothing and all I do is fail, I’m locked tightly within my own thoughts wishing for a fait worse then this jail.

But is it worse, is that fate not worth being sought, what is life… without you friend it doesn’t feel like allot.

What have my words done, what of the time I have spent, do I mean anything to anyone or am I just an acquaintance for rent.

I am nothing and so are you, lost to the darkness, I can never get you back, what am I supposed to do with that.

What good is the info, what good are these feelings, what do I believe, because death truly does have sting.

To love another person but for them to not know love, I am alive but why, why should i survive.

I don’t want to fight, I want to be nothing for if I am nothing and so are you maybe I didn’t fail and this is just life’s truth.

But are you nothing, I wish this was an answer I could know, is your name remembered, or did it melt with the snow.

I wish my tears could melt instead of forming an endless sea, my heart feels hard and cold, and I don’t know what to be.

Is life pain or is it beauty, in this it all looks wrong, we weren’t even that close anymore and yet I don’t know how to live with you gone.

I feel like I failed caught up in myself, I couldn’t be of use, as always I just sat aloof.

I sat and I failed so now I can only weap my inaction was something I didn’t know death could reap.

I didn’t do my job, I failed as a friend, unsure of myself I just sat and watched your life end.

Blossoming Color

A galaxy of stars that swirl and spin, I see in you the ability to start again.

A smile that shines through every piece of pain, life cannot beat you; you are warmth in a cold rain.

You are a glimmering sunrise that shines through the trees, gold and green like fresh autumn leaves.

You are the blue in the sky, the red in love, you are a transforming array of colors sent from above.

I don’t know your purpose as you’ve entered my life, but color and inspiration have returned to me, once again I feel truly alive.

You are all the colors of the earth in whole, a force of nature that my heart can’t control.

You are so much more than these words can express, so for now I choose to let my pen rest.

I haven’t the colors to show you on this page, I write in black and white, but you deserve the world as your stage.

Yet people will always see the wonder that is you, colors that brighten life when it all turns a darker hue.

Return My Time

Once you realize how time goes by, once you realize that time fades away… you’ll wish that you didn’t have to leave the moment, you’ll wish that you could stay.


Once you realize that your youth stood still you will miss each moment and the way they made you feel. 


You’ll miss each minute of your withering youth because each precious second felt like hours; but now a second is a second and anxiety makes it feel like you should cower. 


Your time was once freedom without dictation of the hour, you lived by what you were doing not by what was next, and once you realize the taste feels sour. 


Now that you are all grown up what will you do to take back your time? Can you steal back the seconds of the day, and pull off the perfect crime? 


Once more can you realize what you must, seize the day, make time your servant and be not yourself a slave.


Time is within our grasp and is within our control, it can not overtake us, not if we give time to our soul. 


Life gets busy and our soul goes unattended, so time moves fast and each moment feels as though it were lended. 


I tell you that each moment has been lent  not by time itself, but by a gracious God, we only have this one life and each minimal second must be caught.


Take back the seconds, the minutes, and the days believe in a God that has the ability to save. 


Salvation has come for not just your soul, but for each and every second of your life, it is time to take back the controls. 

My Favorite Sound

   This feeling must be one that I long ago had lost, a heat rising up within me melting off the frost.
   I feel new, I feel free, by something as simple as this, that smile it overtakes me and I am filled with sweet bliss.
   My heart bubbling up as I hang on to each word that she speaks, it is a feeling so abrasive I feel like it should stop but still that is not what I seek.
   I want more of her smiles, more of her words, in a greedy disposition I just want more, oh how just looking at her makes my heart soar.
   I cannot explain it but I also don’t feel the need, oh what beauty that I have found, and now this voice is my favorite sound.

Confidence Through Christ

There was once a time in my life when I carried myself as if I believed I would be somebody, as if I believed in Gods plan for me. At some point down the road I forgot who I was, I let the world overtake me and became complacent. At some point I subconsciously decided that my shortcomings and my failures were bigger than Gods plan for me. I used to carry myself like a man who believed he could change the world with God by his his side. At some point I became a man who had more fear than confidence, a man who had lost his way. It is time that I begin to carry myself with some confidence again, confidence in myself, in God, and in His plan. I need to begin to carry myself in a way befitting of the glorious plan God has for me. I will base my confidence on He who is unfailing so that my confidence cannot fail. I am a man of God made to serve Him, and I will do great things for my God.
2 Corinthians 3:3‭-‬6 NIV
You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.