love

The Reason for Repetition

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A repeating story that I no longer want to hear, and yet it forces it’s way past my defenses, booming in my ears.

I see you clear as the day, though I cant speak the words that I truly want to say.

These words will be trapped and soon this too shall pass, and yet I didn’t want to let this one go; you reached into me… set a fire within my soul.

You set me ablaze and reminded me of the beauty this world has to give, It is partially because of you that I once again live.

I see what you’ve given me and try to just be thankful for what this has been, but I cant help wanting more, can’t help wanting to be let in.

I want to be let in to your life, to truly know you beyond just what I can write.

Because I can explain the you that I see with all the words I know, but it isn’t enough, I need to know how and why you glow.

You glow with a light that has brought color back into my days, I can’t help but smile when I have the opportunity to meet your gaze.

I have tried to meet it as often as I can, for I know it is fleeting, and soon I am unlikely to meet that gaze again.

Because soon you will leave without me ever having tried, and I cant help mourning the inspiration that will have died.

You have done for my words what none have been able to before, you’ve affected me, and changed me, changed me at my core.

So of course I want more, of course this ballad repeats, I want to be closer to the fire that is you, I want to be warmed by your heat.

The Distance in the Stars

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Why are these feelings permitted to well up inside, when did I allow this, why can’t I just hide.

Why does it chase me, why must I feel like this, hopelessly enamored, unprepared for the end to this bliss.

Our connection fades as I’ve just begun to fall, why is it you, and why is my attraction not my call.

I’ve fallen, I’m hopeless, completely caught up in your presence, you awoke a fire inside me where once my inspiration was deadened.

I had reached a place where I no longer knew if I could write, and yet you restored me, blind but given sight.

And what a feeling it is to once again see, for to take you in is everything to me.

So much to say with so little space on a page, to say who you are I could sit and write for days.

And yet I know I’ve only begun to explore, I see you at your surface, but I yearn to know more.

I thirst in a drought to know who you truly are, stuck on earth looking at the twinkle of a blazing star.

The fire you create, the warmth you exude, you are the sun of my galaxy and I am hopeless in my orbit of you.

Peaceful Yet Powerful

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Of course mornings are dreary when all my nights are long… and yet I’m awakened by your sweet song.

Awake, yet at peace, the duality of having dreams when my eyes are wide, I feel the warmth only you create growing with great stride.

And of course your warmth would stride and sprint, for you move with the wind.

You are steady, you are gentle, and yet you are so much more; you have the power to destroy and yet instead you restore.

You are quiet, yet your whisper is strong, if only its peace could reach me when my nights become so long.

I am restless and weary, and yet still I write; for though peace is what you breathe, it is a peace that allows me to fight.

Sea Foam Sentiments

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I feel it, the sea taking me in, a new ocean full of life, I float just on the surface where you begin.

You are the beginning of a world completely unknown, the flower that grows even in the midst of stone.

Your soul it speaks, and has so much to show, I get lost in your voice as I watch you glow.

I feel you are far more magnificent and fierce than you will ever feel, and yet I’ll try to express it, and hope that your view will yield.

For what I hope is that you will see yourself in truest light, sea foam, flowers, the beauty of life.

A field of multicolored lilies surrounded by the crashing sea, a sight that’s not quite real yet it is what I see.

Through colors, through nature, I find you hard to describe, yet what I find most important is that you’re a reason for me to write.

The Days Are Made of Mountains

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Today feels like a haze and I don’t know why, I’m pushing, I’m fighting, and I won’t cease to try.

Yet today I feel slow, today I feel like I’m letting go.

My goals are meaningful but today I’m losing hope, I’ve been coming out of the valley, but it is such a steep slope.

I climb and I climb, but my hands are slipping, my feet lose their hold and so I’m gripping.

Grabbing hold for dear life, that fact that life is more dear should certainly suffice.

For there once was a time that life didn’t have worth, I couldn’t see the why, I couldn’t see the possibility for rebirth.

And yet here I stand atop a ledge reaching for that one hand.

The hand of He who has always been by my side, carried me when I fell, comforted me when I cried.

My tears they had purpose, so did my sweat and blood; I fight this fight no matter how deep I sink into the mud.

I am here, I am alive, and so I blow away the haze; I strive for good reason,  I will reach better days.

She Smiles With The Seasons

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A breeze in the summer, under the shade of a tree…she is beauty, she is peace,

A calm that transcends panic, she is vibrant and electric.

A current that flows through every single bone, she is the tranquility that comes with a seldom seen snow.

She is new life and warmth, like the beginning of spring; she is bright and beautiful like the sun without its sting.

As said before, she is like the autumn leaves, many vibrant colors… magnificent and unique.

She is all of the seasons, and you can see them in her smile, a bouquet of every flower, unchanging yet versatile.

Let it Go With The Rain

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Sorrow and set back… today my words may not succeed, but I guess we can only find out as I create more words for you to read.

Words don’t feel enough to fix the things I feel, I step out of myself, I am no longer real.

Lost to the void that consumes all reasoning, my lungs devoid of air no ability to speak or sing.

And so I write as there is no other way for my words to arise, I sharpen them as a sword cutting down the lies.

The lies that are spoken are all within my own head, I create a path for myself, it is here that I tread.

Though I do not tread lightly, I let each step be heard, louder and louder until it’s a drum beat that sounds of a herd.

My heart it beats with the sound of many hooves, I am here, I am alive, my words have done all they could.

And so I take control, I grip onto my own pain, I feel peace and truth take over washing me clean in the rain.

Peace Rebirth

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I feel peace once again, as I begin to know who I am, I know where I’m going, and where I must stand.

I stand on a hilltop overlooking my life, I see possibility, a chance to try, a chance to thrive.

The possibility of peace as a continued pursuit, I feel it now my heart is let loose.

I’ve broken free of a terrible cage, freed once again by a gracious God, who was willing to take on my rage.

Through bitterness and anger, still I am set free, I sing of God’s goodness as it washes over me.

I return to Him now, I feel my faith grow, the power of His word, and is blessing bestowed.

This relationship I mend, so of course now I can write, I was lost without guidance, but now I can fight.

I fight for peace and joy to take over my life, the spirit covers me, I’ve opened my eyes.

This is the peace that I’ve sought for so long,  what a joyous word, I didn’t know I could feel so strong.

Rest returns to me, motivation crashes in waves, my cup overflows, and so I step out from my cave.

My enemy and I…out in the open, yet I cannot be harmed for my God is risen.

Risen from death, as now so am I, my spirit is reborn in a peace that none could deny.

You Are Meant to Be a Hero

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I haven’t been living life. I would like to of course blame this on quarantine putting everything that would normally keep me busy to a screeching halt. While blaming my lack of truly living on quarantine is somewhat of a fair concept it is in whole simply an excuse. This excuse like most excuses is worthless, using it does not return all of the time that I have wasted nor does it fix the utter boredom that has welled up within me as I have pretended that there is not still an entire world around me. What does fix this is determination, setting goals, making an effort, and overall just focusing on bettering myself as well as the life that I am living. My life has as of late been quite devoid of purpose, I have felt as though the days were simply creeping by completely out of my control. I do have control however, I have control over how I choose to live this life. Since I was a child I have loved escapism whether it be through a book, a video game, a movie, a show, or anything else. I have always sought to find escape into worlds that I can imagine myself in, in which I would find myself as a heroic more ideal version of myself. The fact is though that no matter how strong an imagination or fantasy I create, these pictures of my better self start and end within my brain. I am not doing what I must in order to actually become a better me and admitting that I can become this ideal version of myself outside of escaping into some fantasy world is hard to admit. This is hard to admit because it takes tremendous effort to become the person that you are truly meant to be. Most people spend their lives content with what they have refusing to challenge the waves of adversity before them until they slowly sink into mediocrity and pass away without ever truly facing the challenge of becoming their best self. I can not sit idly by and allow myself to become one of those people, I must force my feet onto the ground each day and make my way out into the world prepared to challenge my every thought and action until I am confident they are the works of a person that is truly willing to fight to be something more. I have a calling on my life to teach others what I can, to write every meaningful thought that comes to mind onto a page, to love people deeply and unapologetically, and to deliver the message of the Gospel to all who will hear it. If I do not see these things as being the main character of my own massive adventure of life then I am simply blind. I am not a character standing by simply listening and acting based off of the interactions of the people around me. I am my own person, the main character of an earth shaking story about to unfold. This passion is easy to lose because we live in a world that is practically made to make us complacent and content, but I will be challenging myself from this moment onward to remind myself each day that I am the protagonist and main character of my story and I am meant for more than just allowing time to pass me by. I will from this point make leaps and bounds instead of small safe steps. Radical true living and change is not possible by taking the safe and easy route, but instead by taking chances, being bold, and doing what must be done. I challenge myself and anyone else who reads this to think of themselves as the hero of their own story too, to believe that nobody else is going to change how you are living but you, and that you do not need to be a prisoner to your own mind nor your circumstances. This life is an open highway, so take a hold of the wheel and drive like you actually mean it. You will be helped along the way by friends, family, or God. This does not change the fact that the only way things are truly going to change for the better, the only way for you to become who you are really meant to be is for you to decide you want it for yourself and take action every day to make sure you do not stop believing in yourself and your ability to do great things. You the reader and myself as well are capable of doing world changing incredible feats, but the fist step is to believe. Believe what you might ask? You must believe that you are the main character of your story, you are the hero, you are capable of doing amazing things, and you must believe that there are no breaks in being the hero. Being the hero, your best self is a constant struggle that will consist of challenging yourself every minute of every day to do and be better than the moment before. I also believe that you must have God in your life to allow such radical change and to have the guidance necessary to achieve such earth changing feats. I believe that we are the hands and feet of God in this world on a mission to change it for the better, so we can not be complacent, if that type of duty does not scream that we are meant to be heroes than I do not know what will.

MATTHEW 28:18-20

Then Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

ISAIAH 6:8

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying:

Who should I send?

Who will go for Us?

I said:

Here I am. Send me.

Return My Time

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Once you realize how time goes by, once you realize that time fades away… you’ll wish that you didn’t have to leave the moment, you’ll wish that you could stay.


Once you realize that your youth stood still you will miss each moment and the way they made you feel. 


You’ll miss each minute of your withering youth because each precious second felt like hours; but now a second is a second and anxiety makes it feel like you should cower. 


Your time was once freedom without dictation of the hour, you lived by what you were doing not by what was next, and once you realize the taste feels sour. 


Now that you are all grown up what will you do to take back your time? Can you steal back the seconds of the day, and pull off the perfect crime? 


Once more can you realize what you must, seize the day, make time your servant and be not yourself a slave.


Time is within our grasp and is within our control, it can not overtake us, not if we give time to our soul. 


Life gets busy and our soul goes unattended, so time moves fast and each moment feels as though it were lended. 


I tell you that each moment has been lent  not by time itself, but by a gracious God, we only have this one life and each minimal second must be caught.


Take back the seconds, the minutes, and the days believe in a God that has the ability to save. 


Salvation has come for not just your soul, but for each and every second of your life, it is time to take back the controls.