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Never to be Known

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She will never know… never know how I’ve grown.

She will never see the effect she had on me.

She won’t read the lines I was lead to write. She won’t know they kept me up at night.

She won’t feel that passion I poured into these pages, but I still pray for her happiness to grow through the ages.

Another stepping stone of growth and learning, but this time, I’m not even left with the yearning.

This made sense. The pieces didn’t fit, so it’s bittersweet, but I’m not in a pit.

I’m still on a peak staring down at the valleys, I see the forest I’d lost myself in, and now I can rally.

I rally myself, I muster my spirit, I dive into my emotions and allow myself to feel it.

She may never know what these words mean for me to write, but even so, I am happy to bring them to light.

More words bleed out than what I knew I had left, and yet I feel steady. There is joy in each breath.

Words and Walls

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You say words can’t pierce through this wall? But what if I write words worthy of making Jericho fall?

Words divined by inspiration from the heavens, words that are overflowing with detailed expression.

I express the feelings that have lain deep and dormant down in my soul, I set them free rather than take control.

So, these are the words that flow from my heart to page, I write them so that I may set the stage.

I cast the parts and design the show, all for a vision of something that can grow.

The curtains come up, and the walls come down all is revealed to an audience that doesn’t make a sound.

On the soundless stage, something new takes place.

Amidst the rubble and dust, the protagonist plays their part, a performer of the heart.

The heart grows stronger and knows what it wants, and so these words can be more blunt.

Blunt and sudden with a booming bellowing voice, the show has started, and so the heart can make a choice.

Do words have the potential to pierce through walls and veils? Or is this another day that words could not prevail?

In one final petition I ask that the performer play their part well. With the world a stage, the heart can certainly leave its shell.

Divided Attention

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Can I see the forest for the trees? No, I am lost in the forest. It looks like the sea.

A sea of trees deep in the autumnal season, having lost all their leafs.

And through the bare branches, it is sun, shimmering on sap that sits and shines even when the day is done.

Because the night is not enough to take away this light.

The moon shines through the branches all the same, with starlight a fire flickers that does not burn, that does not maim.

Deep and unyielding, a sea of brown with flecks of silver and gold, the forest is alight, a story that is new yet old.

It is not that I see love in these trees. It is just that I am thankful that for a moment, they shined their light on me. 

Distant Dreams

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Distant memories haunt me today, ones I thought I had put away.

I let go, I moved forward, I felt peace that lasted; yet now my dreams take me, and they don’t take me past it.

Instead, I am taken to the past, to a time when my dreams were more vivid, consumed by you once more, and so I must live it.

I live in that dream, the one that I don’t want to be defining, yet you’re here again… in my writing.

I write you away as I’ve done once before, the dream fades, and my heart no longer sways.

I let go again, and hope that better times are on their way, I let myself dream, but this time of better days.

We are all boulders sitting in the bed of an ever flowing river barley moving as we watch the waters of life pass us by. The people and moments in our life move with the water, slowly ever so slightly eroding pieces of us. These pieces of us, we often don’t notice until they’re already gone. We often try to get our pieces back but we never really can. We can accept, however that in rare beautiful instances a person or a moment rather than take away will become one with us. So we are all a boulder sitting in a river slowly withering away, but we are also conglomerate masses of the people and things that made us who we are. It will often feel like your rock is an island in the river of life where nobody passes you by. We know in contrast that no man is an island, we become a piece of others and some become a piece of us. So, when you feel like you’re falling apart,know that you may be growing just as much, and know that you’re never truly alone. We are shaped by life, and sometimes that feels difficult and terrible to take. Each moment is worth it even through the pain, this life is an opportunity to be shaped into who we are meant to be; but moreover it is an opportunity to help shape others for the better. When the river is rough, your edges feel blunt, and you feel like you’ve been left alone beneath the waves; remember that God made this river and he also made you. The river can be rough, that’s the weight of this life, but it flows into eternity, and there we can all thrive. Here in the river before you make it to the end remember the affect you have on others, help them to seek a better end. Because we all flow into eternity, but the river splits into two paths, only one is good, but both are everlasting.

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Pens and Pain

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It’s going to hurt a little, but that just means that what you feel is real, so ready yourself, become sturdy like steel.

The words that will come will be tied with a little pain, but there’s a reason they’re coming out, a reason they shouldn’t just stay in your brain.

You bleed with your words, you cry, you shout, this just means you’re alive, so try to stand stout.

Words can heal, and change perspective, they will always be worth writing even if they don’t achieve your intended objective.

Words hold power of life and death, so use them to love and don’t worry about the rest.

The pen uses blood more than it uses ink, so keep yourself healthy, and don’t be afraid to think.

So think with your heart and feel with your mind, if that doesn’t make sense then just give it time.

There is so much beauty in this life and it’s all worth expressing, even if it hurts, because those are life’s most beautiful and imactful lessons.

The World by Her Light

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I just love to watch as she meets with the world, head on, head strong, filling each life with song.

She is a force of joy, a beautiful soul, she needn’t be told, she knows her roll.

She looks for the pieces she knows she must find, not afraid to move forward, she won’t look behind.

She is more fearless then I’m sure she knows, she takes on life and in doing so she glows.

She glows like a beaming light, she fills every room she enters, and it’s really quite the sight.

By her light people are healed and feel loved, I saw God use her, a sign from above.

And yet though she serves God’s purpose I was just a step along her path, just a stop, just the surface.

Because her life will go so much further than here, I see this future for her, and so I hold that image dear.

I am thankful to have been a stop along her path, for she is a moving beacon of light, and I will not be the last.

I know she will help others and bring more joy into this place, she may leave her mark on you, she may leave a trace.

Be thankful for even that… for that trace that she leaves, you can carry that piece with you, and it can help you to believe.

An Ending Well Met

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Restoration and growth, I found in myself the ability to let go.

I said what I needed to and in that I found my peace, I escaped great loss and know now what it’s like to be free.

I’ve seen you for who you are and am able to let this pass I wish nothing but the best for you, and I know that feeling will last.

My soul restored, my ability to write still around, I accept in this moment a peaceful and comforting sound.

The sound of my inner voice resounds in my mind, I am enough, so to myself I will be kind.

I have found this peace through you and through God, one with myself accepting these feelings though they may be odd.

I am me and you are you, through simple clear communication I have come to know truth.

The fruit of my efforts did not grow what I had sought, but I still feel closure and that is saying allot.

An end to a beginning that was fruitful and great I accept this today, I accept our seperate fates.

If only I had met you at a diffrent time, yet maybe this was how we were meant to meet and that can be sublime.

Sublime, the perfect word to express the end… though of course In such a word I would always welcome something to start again.

Ceaseless in Nature

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Every day since I’ve begun to write of the tremendous impact you’ve had on my life, I’ve wanted to go into detail on just your eyes.

But the words would not come, for there was too much to say, yet now the words are flowing and crashing like waves.

Just like the waves in you eyes, a seafoam forest speckled by sparkling lights.

Your eyes hold a galaxy fully unknown, yet I am here exploring, trying to know.

When my eyes meet yours my senses are set on fire, the way they shine I’m lost in desire.

A desire to know every emotion they hold, I see something more about to unfold.

They hold your emotion and create emotion in me, they are new life and growth, they are a seed.

A seed to start new, a seed to start again, I watch as it grows out never wanting the experience to end.

They are beauty and peace, yet they are a fiery sea, they ignite as do you, and so I know that those fiery eyes are true.

True in the sense that they create more than they destroy, in the midst of deep sorrow, they are my joy.

I am encompassed by them, sinking in their sea, I am enveloped, surrounded, by an ocean made of trees.

Trees that hold so much color though only one is usually seen, they hold every hue, the brightest and darkest of green.

Yet they are usually so bright, a sunrise sky that covers me, no more clouded vision, I am given sight.

Open skies, galaxies, and trees, I knew this would take many words and though I will, I still do not wish to cease.

For She to be Free

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It’s rare to find one’s self feeling in such a way, I want her, to speak to her, my heart has been swayed.

Yet in these feelings so random but so pure,I find myself moving beyond the allure.

For when I pray, I don’t pray for us to be together, I pray for your happiness, for whatever is better.

Better whether I can hold her or not,her smile my upmost concern beyond what I have sought.

Of course I seek her heart after the way she’s made me feel, but I recognize it’s damage and wish foremost for it to be healed.

To see her heart whole and to know her smile is true, I think I could move on even whilst knowing I’d be blue.

Yet so far I have not given up, I accept what may come, but until it is clear I will not say that I am done.

I want to pursue this, to show that we could be great, I just hope the expressions of my heart when spoken will not be too late.

I tread carefully though for I know this pursuit is fragile, it’s worth every second, it’s worth waiting for a while.

For while I wait I can still come to know her more, I can fall harder, and prepare myself for what life decides to have in store.

Whatever does happen I find my peace, I just hope she finds hers, I hope her heart can find its release.