Author: talesofdylan

My Eyes in the Storm

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Now the floodgates are open, I’ve been made anew, I write once again, I’ve finally made it through.

The walls are broken down, my emotions crash in waves, I feel every ounce of the water as it covers my old self’s grave.

For I have died and been reborn, a Phoenix rising in the middle of a storm.

The rain is torrential, the downpour is heavy the wind and the rain come, but I stand steady.

I find myself standing firm atop these waves, my feet held up by the name Yahweh

Solid ground in the middle of an ocean, I am making progress now and have to believe that I have been chosen.

Chosen for something great, too spread a great name, chosen for this and so my pen takes my pain.

The pain is transformed into passion and power, I know now who I serve and so this is my hour.

A moment of fate, a moment of grace,  I stand in this chaos and look only upon His face.

She Smiles With The Seasons

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A breeze in the summer, under the shade of a tree…she is beauty, she is peace,

A calm that transcends panic, she is vibrant and electric.

A current that flows through every single bone, she is the tranquility that comes with a seldom seen snow.

She is new life and warmth, like the beginning of spring; she is bright and beautiful like the sun without its sting.

As said before, she is like the autumn leaves, many vibrant colors… magnificent and unique.

She is all of the seasons, and you can see them in her smile, a bouquet of every flower, unchanging yet versatile.

Let it Go With The Rain

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Sorrow and set back… today my words may not succeed, but I guess we can only find out as I create more words for you to read.

Words don’t feel enough to fix the things I feel, I step out of myself, I am no longer real.

Lost to the void that consumes all reasoning, my lungs devoid of air no ability to speak or sing.

And so I write as there is no other way for my words to arise, I sharpen them as a sword cutting down the lies.

The lies that are spoken are all within my own head, I create a path for myself, it is here that I tread.

Though I do not tread lightly, I let each step be heard, louder and louder until it’s a drum beat that sounds of a herd.

My heart it beats with the sound of many hooves, I am here, I am alive, my words have done all they could.

And so I take control, I grip onto my own pain, I feel peace and truth take over washing me clean in the rain.

Peace Rebirth

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I feel peace once again, as I begin to know who I am, I know where I’m going, and where I must stand.

I stand on a hilltop overlooking my life, I see possibility, a chance to try, a chance to thrive.

The possibility of peace as a continued pursuit, I feel it now my heart is let loose.

I’ve broken free of a terrible cage, freed once again by a gracious God, who was willing to take on my rage.

Through bitterness and anger, still I am set free, I sing of God’s goodness as it washes over me.

I return to Him now, I feel my faith grow, the power of His word, and is blessing bestowed.

This relationship I mend, so of course now I can write, I was lost without guidance, but now I can fight.

I fight for peace and joy to take over my life, the spirit covers me, I’ve opened my eyes.

This is the peace that I’ve sought for so long,  what a joyous word, I didn’t know I could feel so strong.

Rest returns to me, motivation crashes in waves, my cup overflows, and so I step out from my cave.

My enemy and I…out in the open, yet I cannot be harmed for my God is risen.

Risen from death, as now so am I, my spirit is reborn in a peace that none could deny.

The Faults in Failing

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I wish I could grab ahold of the light that I just let die, the wind and weather blew the flame but I just watched it go by….

The light, it was there but now I am nothing, and so are you, a life snuffed out wishing for the beauty of rain when I’m caught in a drought.

I try to channel my pain but I feel like my pain is channeling me I’m not in control and the tears cloud my ability to see.

I don’t remember how to look at life it’s cold, dark, and miserable, filled with endless strife.

The sun and the stars they all seem so dim I am nothing and so are you I feel somehow like my words could have been spoken more true.

Had I been a better man who understood who i was, perhaps I could have helped you instead of feeling the death of love.

Because I did not share enough? I couldn’t save you here… but still I wanted to save you but it’s like I’m constantly driving with no idea how to steer.

The impacts I’ve had… do any of them have meaning, if I couldn’t save you then whats my point of being.

I’m useless I’m nothing and all I do is fail, I’m locked tightly within my own thoughts wishing for a fait worse then this jail.

But is it worse, is that fate not worth being sought, what is life… without you friend it doesn’t feel like allot.

What have my words done, what of the time I have spent, do I mean anything to anyone or am I just an acquaintance for rent.

I am nothing and so are you, lost to the darkness, I can never get you back, what am I supposed to do with that.

What good is the info, what good are these feelings, what do I believe, because death truly does have sting.

To love another person but for them to not know love, I am alive but why, why should i survive.

I don’t want to fight, I want to be nothing for if I am nothing and so are you maybe I didn’t fail and this is just life’s truth.

But are you nothing, I wish this was an answer I could know, is your name remembered, or did it melt with the snow.

I wish my tears could melt instead of forming an endless sea, my heart feels hard and cold, and I don’t know what to be.

Is life pain or is it beauty, in this it all looks wrong, we weren’t even that close anymore and yet I don’t know how to live with you gone.

I feel like I failed caught up in myself, I couldn’t be of use, as always I just sat aloof.

I sat and I failed so now I can only weap my inaction was something I didn’t know death could reap.

I didn’t do my job, I failed as a friend, unsure of myself I just sat and watched your life end.

Blossoming Color

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A galaxy of stars that swirl and spin, I see in you the ability to start again.

A smile that shines through every piece of pain, life cannot beat you; you are warmth in a cold rain.

You are a glimmering sunrise that shines through the trees, gold and green like fresh autumn leaves.

You are the blue in the sky, the red in love, you are a transforming array of colors sent from above.

I don’t know your purpose as you’ve entered my life, but color and inspiration have returned to me, once again I feel truly alive.

You are all the colors of the earth in whole, a force of nature that my heart can’t control.

You are so much more than these words can express, so for now I choose to let my pen rest.

I haven’t the colors to show you on this page, I write in black and white, but you deserve the world as your stage.

Yet people will always see the wonder that is you, colors that brighten life when it all turns a darker hue.

A Debate on Love and Dreaming

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I used to believe in love, in the true fairy tale sense of the word. I used to believe two people found one another and everything just clicked. I used to believe in the possibility of a happiness I’m no longer sure truly exists. This world seems full of far too many distractions and I feel far too full of sorrows and disappointments to ever return to the self that I once knew. I used to believe in love, and I want to again.


Yet here I am in a world where the majority of my options for meeting a girl are pretending I’m something I’m not on a dating app, going to a bar, or a club. None of those things suit me so I’m just wondering how my fairy tale ending will come about. Has it all only been fantasy, did I grow up learning to dream only to learn now that dreams are faulty and that reality disappoints. All of the optimism within me has died, I myself have died. I am a fragile shell of the man I once was clawing to discover who I am meant to be now. This is all because my heart was crushed just one to many times and now I feel love isn’t real.


I feel like I’m doomed to lead a life in which my ability to dream is crushed and grinded into dust until I just settle. I want more than anything to believe there is more for me, that the hope welling up in my heart is real. I haven’t felt hope in so long and yet here it is once more. Is love real? I ask myself this tonight because the hope in my heart hurts me rather than lifts me up. It hurts because it’s fleeting and after I finally go to sleep here at 5 am I will be waking up in a world where that hope has faded and the me that I could just barely see has faded as well.


Seeing all the dreams you had for the future fall like dominoes until the last thing they knock down is you, that’s where I am. I’m lying on the ground crushed by the weight of a tumbling pile of bricks. I don’t know what to do or how to feel. In truth this is the most emotion I’ve managed to muster in quite some time. I don’t write much anymore because nothing like this ever comes about because the part of me that could dream was the part of me that would write. I believed the world was better then what I saw but now I just see the bad and I’ve lost the hope.


So now I am writing at least one more time wondering if it will be the last. Will my emotions fully fade and a tear never fall down my cheek again. Will love ever find me once more, or have my walls come up too high? I don’t know what to ask, wonder, or do. How will I know if love exists unless I find it; and how do I have faith until I do?


My heart so often feels empty and yet tonight it feels momentarily full. I write with ease once more because I can feel the dreams returning and a hope that love can truly conquer all. I am a mess, I will never be the greatest catch in the world, but I am meant to love who I am. Flaws and all I am happy with the me that dreams foolishly and believes that love holds some of the greatest power in this world. This type of me may have great trouble finding the person who is meant for me, however at least then I won’t settle. So let me set aside the crushing defeats of the real world, let me turn myself around and first learn how to love myself.


I’m going on a journey of rediscovering myself. I will get better each day I will speak positively and dream big dreams. I will be crazy, foolish, and thank all those who helped me along the way. I choose to believe in love and end this written debate between me myself and I. My dreams are real and I am never to old nor too young, the start of my life once more lies on the other end of this night of sleep. So I will dream beautiful dreams tonight as I sleep and even when I wake up I will refuse to stop. A new me is being born much like an old me I once knew, a dreamer, and believer in love. Love that changes everything and one day I will know that love, but for now I will become the best me I can not for anyone else but because believing in love means loving myself, and that’s something I had forgotten. Now I can rest, and I can smile because for the first time in a very long time I am going to sleep with love on my mind and in my heart.

You Are Meant to Be a Hero

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I haven’t been living life. I would like to of course blame this on quarantine putting everything that would normally keep me busy to a screeching halt. While blaming my lack of truly living on quarantine is somewhat of a fair concept it is in whole simply an excuse. This excuse like most excuses is worthless, using it does not return all of the time that I have wasted nor does it fix the utter boredom that has welled up within me as I have pretended that there is not still an entire world around me. What does fix this is determination, setting goals, making an effort, and overall just focusing on bettering myself as well as the life that I am living. My life has as of late been quite devoid of purpose, I have felt as though the days were simply creeping by completely out of my control. I do have control however, I have control over how I choose to live this life. Since I was a child I have loved escapism whether it be through a book, a video game, a movie, a show, or anything else. I have always sought to find escape into worlds that I can imagine myself in, in which I would find myself as a heroic more ideal version of myself. The fact is though that no matter how strong an imagination or fantasy I create, these pictures of my better self start and end within my brain. I am not doing what I must in order to actually become a better me and admitting that I can become this ideal version of myself outside of escaping into some fantasy world is hard to admit. This is hard to admit because it takes tremendous effort to become the person that you are truly meant to be. Most people spend their lives content with what they have refusing to challenge the waves of adversity before them until they slowly sink into mediocrity and pass away without ever truly facing the challenge of becoming their best self. I can not sit idly by and allow myself to become one of those people, I must force my feet onto the ground each day and make my way out into the world prepared to challenge my every thought and action until I am confident they are the works of a person that is truly willing to fight to be something more. I have a calling on my life to teach others what I can, to write every meaningful thought that comes to mind onto a page, to love people deeply and unapologetically, and to deliver the message of the Gospel to all who will hear it. If I do not see these things as being the main character of my own massive adventure of life then I am simply blind. I am not a character standing by simply listening and acting based off of the interactions of the people around me. I am my own person, the main character of an earth shaking story about to unfold. This passion is easy to lose because we live in a world that is practically made to make us complacent and content, but I will be challenging myself from this moment onward to remind myself each day that I am the protagonist and main character of my story and I am meant for more than just allowing time to pass me by. I will from this point make leaps and bounds instead of small safe steps. Radical true living and change is not possible by taking the safe and easy route, but instead by taking chances, being bold, and doing what must be done. I challenge myself and anyone else who reads this to think of themselves as the hero of their own story too, to believe that nobody else is going to change how you are living but you, and that you do not need to be a prisoner to your own mind nor your circumstances. This life is an open highway, so take a hold of the wheel and drive like you actually mean it. You will be helped along the way by friends, family, or God. This does not change the fact that the only way things are truly going to change for the better, the only way for you to become who you are really meant to be is for you to decide you want it for yourself and take action every day to make sure you do not stop believing in yourself and your ability to do great things. You the reader and myself as well are capable of doing world changing incredible feats, but the fist step is to believe. Believe what you might ask? You must believe that you are the main character of your story, you are the hero, you are capable of doing amazing things, and you must believe that there are no breaks in being the hero. Being the hero, your best self is a constant struggle that will consist of challenging yourself every minute of every day to do and be better than the moment before. I also believe that you must have God in your life to allow such radical change and to have the guidance necessary to achieve such earth changing feats. I believe that we are the hands and feet of God in this world on a mission to change it for the better, so we can not be complacent, if that type of duty does not scream that we are meant to be heroes than I do not know what will.

MATTHEW 28:18-20

Then Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

ISAIAH 6:8

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying:

Who should I send?

Who will go for Us?

I said:

Here I am. Send me.

Return My Time

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Once you realize how time goes by, once you realize that time fades away… you’ll wish that you didn’t have to leave the moment, you’ll wish that you could stay.


Once you realize that your youth stood still you will miss each moment and the way they made you feel. 


You’ll miss each minute of your withering youth because each precious second felt like hours; but now a second is a second and anxiety makes it feel like you should cower. 


Your time was once freedom without dictation of the hour, you lived by what you were doing not by what was next, and once you realize the taste feels sour. 


Now that you are all grown up what will you do to take back your time? Can you steal back the seconds of the day, and pull off the perfect crime? 


Once more can you realize what you must, seize the day, make time your servant and be not yourself a slave.


Time is within our grasp and is within our control, it can not overtake us, not if we give time to our soul. 


Life gets busy and our soul goes unattended, so time moves fast and each moment feels as though it were lended. 


I tell you that each moment has been lent  not by time itself, but by a gracious God, we only have this one life and each minimal second must be caught.


Take back the seconds, the minutes, and the days believe in a God that has the ability to save. 


Salvation has come for not just your soul, but for each and every second of your life, it is time to take back the controls. 

There Was More Joy In My Life When I Was Depressed

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There was more joy in my life when I was depressed. This thought came across my head today, and although it be sad, it is also true. When I was depressed I didn’t complain about the little things because there were bigger things that concerned me. When I was depressed I always looked for and saw the light, because I had to in order to survive. Most importantly the change that defines the difference between me now and when I was depressed is how much I relied on God. In every waking moment of my life I relied on and thought about God. God was a constant when I was depressed because I consistently felt like I needed Him, God was keeping me on my feet. I loved God deeply and was devoted to Him absolutely. So the question is, what now has changed? When I was depressed I had a constant reminder of what God was doing for me and of my absolute dependence on Him. On the other side of depression being freed from the chains that once held me down I have often found myself turning from God and trying to rely on other things, I forget God because I don’t feel like I  consistently need Him. This is not to say that I do not still pray daily and read my Bible, but it is to say that I am not praying as fervently as I should nor reading my Bible as often as I should. It breaks my heart because most days I really do not know how to fix it. I sometimes as strange as it may sound miss the days of my depression, because in those days God was always my first thought and I never felt like He was not around. In many of my darkest moments I felt more of the holy spirit than I have ever felt in any other time. Now I often feels like the spirit is distant from me. Life has gotten so busy and while I take the time for many of my hobbies and simple things I do not find myself giving nearly enough time to God. I find my self most days lacking any passion at all, no inspiration to write, but when I was depressed poems flowed out of me at a constant rushing pace. In my depression there was so much to write, so many acts of God to be thankful for, and so many lights that had been revealed. Even though my depression died off, it feels like part of me died off with it that I am fighting so hard to regain. I am so far behind where I would like to be, because of the depression I am having to catch up. Lately I have become so lost in trying to catch up that I have forgotten to be thankful, joyful, and seek out the light that every day has to offer. This light that I keep speaking of is every moment in our life that stands out and puts a true smile on our face. The light in each day are those moments with your family that we should all cherish much more, the moments with friends where inside jokes are created, the moments where we stop to breathe and see the world that God has created, and the moments where we feel truly at peace. I have not felt much peace recently, but I have not necessarily felt turmoil either. There is a stillness inside of me that is causing me to grow lukewarm. I am neither committed to God nor abandoning Him. I have become almost completely still, and because of this I am almost completely devoid of joy. I have not been feeling joy because I have not been investing myself in things that would bring me joy. I have not been writing enough, reading enough, or praying enough. Most of my time with God has shifted into a task that I am good at completing rather than a moment of clarity that fills me with joy and peace. I have somehow forgotten about God while still keeping Him in my every day life. Even now God feels just out of reach, but I think this is for good reason. If I were to still feel God as I did before, I would not be so upset now, and I would not feel the need to make a change. I do not want my depression back, but I do want back the devotion I once had. It will not be as easy as things once were to be devoted and inspired. Life is busy now, and it is not easy, but all that means is that I will have to look harder for the light. I will seek God earnestly and remind myself daily that my devotion and commitment to God should be my foremost thought every day. It is true that I had more joy when I was depressed, but that was then and this is now. Each day is a new day, and with each day comes new joys to compile. Keeping joy within one’s life is a constant effort, and not an easy one at that. I am still going to be making the effort though, as hard as it may be. I will work until my joy returns stronger and better than before. I will not return to who I was, but i will become better, I will seek God in my every breath and I will do my best not to let myself forget Him anymore. I commit myself to not be still and not be lukewarm. I commit myself to finding true and constant joy, one outside of the depression that once dictated my life.