Life is not miserable, life in itself has deep and impactful worth. For too long I have allowed cynicism to slowly creep up around and overtake me, but once again I am given light from an unlikely place. I look to a fantasy book and I hear a message I’ve needed without knowing it. I had convinced myself that because this world feels so unredeemable, life feels so pitiless, and pain after pain follow my family and I that life had no worth beyond just making it faithfully to the end. I tucked my head in and was not depressed but I was not alive either! I died to myself and chose willingly to walk a path that was shallow and pointless saying that if I ignore the pain or injustice then I won’t have to feel it. And yet I have felt it these pains are all too real, they persist, but they are worth it. So, from two of the most unlikely places, I contrive for myself and ideally for others a meaning for these lives that we lead.

The first place from which I take this inspiration is from “Attack on Titan” from the speech by Erwin he states, “We all die. But does that mean our lives are meaningless? Does that mean that there was no point in our being born? Would you say that of our slain comrades? What about their lives? Were they meaningless?… They were not! Their memory serves as an example to us all! The courageous fallen! The anguished fallen! Their lives have meaning because we the living refuse to forget them! And as we ride to certain death, we trust our successors to do the same for us! Because my soldiers do not buckle or yield when faced with the cruelty of this world! My soldiers push forward! My soldiers scream out! My soldier’s Rage!”. Each of these lines hold great value to the points I aim to make about life and why we live it even in spite of the suffering, pain, and difficulty we face. “Their lives have meaning because we the living refuse to forget them”, Not only do our own lives have meaning because of the hearts we live on in even in death but the impact our each and every choice is able to make on others means that all lives have meaning and hold weight. “My soldiers do not buckle or yield when faced with the cruelty of this world!”, I consider myself a servant of Christ, and would hope that this statement would be able to be said for my service to God. And so, though the cruelty of this world feels insurmountable I stand, I do not buckle, I do not yield, even more so I live!

And yet one might ask what is the purpose of this path if it is filled with pain, what difference is the life you live if we all end in death the same as those before us. Of course, I believe in life after death but that does not give me an excuse to hurry it along nor does it make this life not worth living. The source that truly made me realize this was I feel just as unlikely “The Way of Kings” by Brandon Sanderson. Throughout this book a guiding mantra is set out that nagged at me until at the end of the book it fully set in and took hold of me causing me to write these feelings out. The quote is as follows. “Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination.”. These words along with the surrounding text made me come to realize that the path itself is what I should aspire to live. In conjunction with the quotes from “Attack on Titan” I come to this point, we all die, rich, poor, beautiful, pitiful, loved, or lost in sorrow. We all die, but I would argue that almost certainly we do not all live. So, how do we live? We live by guiding principles, we do not focus on the death or the end we put life before death, strength before weakness, and journey before destination. Because we can not focus on the destination before us without fist focusing on how we get there. I believe that I aim to one day stand before God and have Him tell me “Well done my good and faithful servant, you have run your race well”, or at least something along those lines. And Yet I do not know if I have even reached the starting line of the race I am meant to run. I have stumbled, I have fallen, I have tripped over my own two feet time and time again. Even still God places inspiration in my path to show me the way no matter where I am.

So, I ask of any who would read this these things. Do you see your journey for what it is, do you understand that you have purpose, do you see your value, do you believe your journey is worth taking on. If you do not, I challenge you to reevaluate see your life for something more be strong before you are weak, but your journey before the destination, but most importantly put your life before your death. We are not just on a path to die, we wake each day to add value to all those around us, not just those we love. I challenge you to see that value in yourself, believe it to be real and strive to put better into the world. Each day is new and we have a chance for both self-betterment and to better the world around us. Life is difficult, sometimes it feels unbearable, but I promise with all that I am that it is worth baring, and that someone does care for you. I believe certainly that God cares for you but if that is not enough for you yet know that I do as well, even if I do not know you, I do. All human life is priceless. And yet something even more priceless was traded for us. The pain and love of my God was placed upon a cross and for me that makes my path clear. No matter the burden I put the destination far from my mind, I focus on my path, I do not see death in my future, for now I only see the life that I lead. I do not buckle, I do not yield, death has no grip on me, and so through finally truly living I am free.